Less television More DETERMINATION

When I was having exams, normally I run out of time, during the preparations and when I'm taking the exam itself..

But I always tell myself that it's okay, we're focusing on SPM, so make sure I work 10x harder after exam when I would have plenty of time..

But, as you know it, my 'pattern'.. NO ACTION taken and it's already like what, a couple weeks after my exam??

Everytime I think about my low command of English n BM, i tell myself I've got to improve! Not necessarily drastic action to be done, maybe read the newspaper everyday or read 1 karangan daily.. I mean, it's not that hard right..? It only takes about 20min of my time maybe..? But I just have the tendency to waste all my time being a potato couch..aikss....it goes the same with my piano and all... STILL WORKING ON IT

I might be too ambitious sometimes, and all will be ending up with nothing.. So I changed some plannings : Less ambition, less talking, MORE ACTION..

At least I have a direction though, I'm pretty sure where I'm heading, what scholarship I wanna apply, what qualification is needed and which subject I MUST SCORE... So at least I know where to start..

Everything goes back to the same source of problem : Poor in Time Management

and in this case, it's --- TOO MUCH time spent on tv...

So.....Wish me luck, I'm still working the things I mentioned =)

28th Oct 2011

Supposed to go to school today but i skipped school, supposed to go tennis with my mum n bro but I couldn't wake up.. Aikszz...

When i finally wanna skip rope, the rope was broken, there goes my 'exercise plan'...

Who am I kidding, it was just an excuse for my laziness... :D (not that I'm proud of it or anything)

I had lunch with my mum, aunt and grandma and I found out why until now I haven't met my aunt from US even though she came back for almost a week now..

Apparently, she thinks that we are some 'spies' from Arab.. At that time I was thinking : Is she out of her mind??!

Indeed she is, I don't think she even has the so called 'mind' as wires had gone loose in her head..

At night I spent quality time with my bro n bryan, just like old times.. :D dinner was great but it dint end very well.. We were supposed so buy dinner for my mum but we came back so late that all the stalls were closed at that time.. So we went back empty-handed.. Mamu was a little angry at that time, she reheated a 'ba chang' in the microwave for dinner..

The funny thing was, Kuku was trying to do 'somethig good' and tried cooling the plate of hot 'ba chang' on the big pale of water so that it's easier for my mum to hold it, he did not calculate the buoyant force well and that plate of ba chang ended up sinking in the water.. hahhaa... dunno wad to saying to him...hahahaa

I handed Kuku 1 cup of jelly I made in the afternoon and guess what happened..

His first scoop of jelly fell onto the floor, nvm, I picked it up for him, he continued with his jelly, his third scoop of jelly flew about 1m above ground and landed on the ground again, in 10 minutes he did 3 stupid things I wonder how is he gonna operate a human body in future.. Perhaps drop a person's kidney or leave a scissors in a patient's stomach? haha..

Kuku : No offenses, you know we do believe in you right =)

Tasted Pieces of Hell

2011- was a nightmare to me..
Throughout this year, I've gone through so damn much
Technically, I dint achieve anything, but I've learned a lot
The two things i wanted to achieve when I was in form 4 was to be short-listed as a basketball state player, not selected, but short-listed thats all, and I wanted to win the overall champion in the annual YE competition..
Let's first talk about the basketball 'thingy' , I could accept this failure, very well, as i know that i dont have what it takes to be a state player.. People train days and nights but me..? just the usual weekends..Ha...I must be very naive back then.. Plus, it's all about your performance in the court, I dont even have the basics of a state player how could i ever perform like a state player?
I didn't have the time to work on my skills because I've to pay emphasis on YE, scarifies have to be made here and there

The 'DAY' YE results was announced, I was devastated, looking at the tears of my team members rolling down their faces really tore me apart. I felt guilty, to myself, to the members, to the teachers to the principle and to the school who had put much hope on us. But this wasn't the worst part..
The worst part was the betrayal..the worst thing I've ever gone through.. For all that I've done, that's what I've gotten back, and it was all ( partially maybe ?) done by an immature adult. I honestly feel that she has no sense of responsibility, totally insensitive of other people's feeling and cruel, for what you've done to a 16 year old girl and so many other people.
Everytime I come to think of it, I became mentally weak, I cried non-stop and it usually takes me an hour to return to normal. Especially when I'm studying, I'll totally lose focus and stop studying for that particular day..
I've never EVER gone through this emotional phase before, it was my first..
I wanna thank 1 person - ying ling aka inleen, that told me something that I'll never forget for the rest of my life. She told me that it's okay to go through all this, it's not like all bad things are happening to me, just that I experience these situation earlier that other people do. It really means a lot to me, thanks a lot ying ling...

Yes, I do hate her for what she did, but I believe in karma, she'll have to pay it back either in this life or the next one. You failed as a teacher, who is supposed to show good example, but instead, you thought us how to do bad how to back-stab innocent people. I'm no one to judge how are you as a mother but boy, good luck to your children! All these years, all the things you've done, you're gonna pay it back! Believe me..you can run away from problems but you cannot run about from your sins..

Our ' PASSPORT '

Talking about SPM.. That day i was discussing about it with my classmates Grace, Simmei.. Our SPM certificate can be perfectly describe as a ' PASSPORT '.. You see, when you apply for a scholarship, I'm sure there's tonnes of people passing SPM with flying colours applying for the same scholarship, at the end of the day, they'll still be judging you on your extra curricular activities, leadership skills, personality and so on.. Getting a good result is just for you to enter the battle field, where the real competiton starts. But ofcuz, without that 'passport', we'll end up with NOTHING..

It's all about this stamp on our passport =)

- Life's not easy, if you're not willing to work hard, wave goodbye to your dreams -

Lost Touched With The World ?

Gosh, come to think of it, i had lost touched with the world for like.. 3 months..??
Ever since i stop using my DiGi no. I also stopped using computer. I logged into facebook like once a month..
The best thing about this is, I FELT GREAT !! I felt like keeping up with everything is a burden to me. I dont have to do that, it's not my duty to keep updating myself who just broke up, who is emo-ing, who is doing what just to get into the conversations with my frenz the next day.. I might as well read the newspaper, keep up with what is going on with the world, i mean this is serious stuffs you know..( although i dun read the papers much..trying to make it a habit to read it everyday hahha..)
The reason why i became like this is because I felt like things we ( the teenagers) doing now is so...empty ..if i may say so..NO offenses.. Just take facebook as an example.. If we're discussing about real matters, like whats going on with the world, what we're going to do in future thats okay.. I'm not trying to say that we have to talk about serious stuffs all the time, cause that will only make us ridiculously dull teenagers, we must have some fun too! Talk crap on facebook, nonsense sometimes are able to 'release stress' too, i'm totally with that..
I guess what I'm trying to say that it's time wasting talking about meaningless stuffs 99% of the time on facebook (which apparently a lot of ppl are doing that) ..time can be better spent..

Although, i also wasted A LOT of time being a potato couch... so i'm no better also...trying to work on that.. just that I'm really addicted to F.R.I.E.N.D.S ...I can watch it over n over again, EVERYDAY ..So I've set a few 'holiday resolution' .. I aint have much time before SPM.. If i waste this holiday, I'm as good as dead! I've GOT TO work on my english , bm, physics and maths subject.. It's very DAMN important for my future studies.. Ofcuz other subjects too, for my SPM..